When my wife left me and took full custody of all 26 of my children, I almost lost it. I became suicidal, cutting deep into my wrists and wishing the emotional turmoil would end. I opened up my computer and planned to have one last good time before I ended my pain-stricken and worthless life. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a notification popped up on my desktop, I could only wonder what it was. I finally used my last essence of courage and wonder I had left in my battered and bruised body to open it. CS2D emerged on my screen. Fuck it, I might as well have some fun on my last day of measly existence. I downloaded and opened the game. A flash of colour, the amazing soundtrack, enjoyment. I came to the epiphany that it had not been a worthless journey. I had rediscovered Jesus. No not Jesus, one who is greater than he, the legendary DC. I played it for hours on end. Win after Win. My wife came to her senses and realised the sexy alpha male she was missing out on. She came home, all my children in her hands.
'I miss you', she cried.
'Eat shit bitch, I have CS2D now'.
I slammed the door in that fucking face. I could hear her wail into the cold night air, her cries piercing the air like a gunshot in an enclosed room. She got in the stupid, run down car that she drove, pilling the disgusting fruit of my loins into it. Good, I hope she died. I returned to my computer to see a notification, CS2D. I opened it and it was a direct message with a picture attachment, a fully naked DC in a silk curtain stared into the camera.
The captioning was, 'Hey sexy, if you really love me, you'll put your dick in the usb drive, see you soon, x', at first, I was repulsed and confused, but it occurred to me, this was the will of the aforementioned higher power. Of DC the Great himself. Without further hesitation, I did as I was instructed, it hurt, but it was a required evil. I was sucked into the machine, dick first, and arrived in the map 'de_cs2d', and saw a lone figure crouched on the ground, after closer inspection, I realised they were just short. I walked over and saw the familiar angelic face, and glasses, I saw the sly grin spread across his face, he took a step toward me.
'Hey man, you want scripts?', he said sexily.
I ran and embraced him, lifting him off the ground.
'I love you, DC.',
'I love you too.',
We stepped off the path and hopped in the Legendary Kart, one seat. Only one.
'Where am I supposed to sit?' I whined.
'Oh, about that, you can just sit on DC's lap.' he winked.
I sat down and felt his raging erection touch the tip of my dick. We sped off into the sunset, into a life of wonder and romance.